Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
