is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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