Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
