who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
