Reggie can tackle my bush.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
