I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
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