Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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