I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
