I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
