hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
