hell yes lets make some ravioli
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
