Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
