My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
