i think i have herpe
just one?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I understand Curling. That high.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Randomize
