Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
