If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
