My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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