i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
