If i come over, it means nothing
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
