You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
You took a bar mat shot.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
