Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
