I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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