then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Warsđ
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: donât get cum on anything!
Youâve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Heâs older
Like âhas a job and pays his billsâ older or âstill watches porn on DVD because he canât figure out the Internetâ older?
Randomize
