I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
