HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
