Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
You pole danced in your parka.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
