She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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