Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
