hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
