Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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