I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
