I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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