I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
