i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
