No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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