no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
