so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
