Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
