I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
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