addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
