once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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