Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Just invented taco cereal.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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