I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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