My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Randomize
