Sober January is a disaster.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
