if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
