Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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