nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
