I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
