Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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