You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
ugly people sure do ruin things
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
