If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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